MY PLAIN JANE by Cynthia Hand, Jodi Meadows, and Brodi Ashton

Rating: A-
Release Date: 6/26/18
Synopsis:
You may think you know the story. After a miserable childhood, penniless orphan Jane Eyre embarks on a new life as a governess at Thornfield Hall. There, she meets one dark, brooding Mr. Rochester. Despite their significant age gap (!) and his uneven temper (!!), they fall in love—and, Reader, she marries him. (!!!)

Or does she?

Prepare for an adventure of Gothic proportions, in which all is not as it seems, a certain gentleman is hiding more than skeletons in his closets, and one orphan Jane Eyre, aspiring author Charlotte Brontë, and supernatural investigator Alexander Blackwood are about to be drawn together on the most epic ghost hunt this side of Wuthering Heights.

My thoughts on the book:
I really adore the Lady Janies' books. Their novels are always fun, hilarious takes on classical novels, and My Plain Jane was no exception. This book, like its predecessor, is one of those light-hearted stories that makes your world feel a little bit brighter, just by reading it. I enjoyed Hand, Meadows, and Ashton's take on Jane Eyre, and agreed with most of their quips about the novel. I wasn't a huge Jane Eyre fan due to my dislike of Rochester, but I have immense respect for both of the Brontë sisters. This book does Brontë's novel justice and pokes fun at some of the ridiculousness in the original story, too. I'd recommend this to anyone who is looking for a fun, unique read. 

The characters in this book were amazing. Charlotte, Jane, and Alexander each told the story from their own perspectives, and each character was fully developed and so "human," that I couldn't help but relate to all of them in some way. The secondary characters were equally engaging, and Bran was a particular favorite of mine, as was Helen. I love how they painted Charlotte as a clever, creative, and mischievous teenager. In all of the portraits of the Brontës, they always looked so stern... I prefer to think of Charlotte as these authors created her - an adventurous spirit who appreciated everything in the world around her. I also enjoyed the idea that Charlotte and Jane were friends and that's how Jane Eyre came to be. 

The writing was brilliant, of course. These authors are professionals, and it shows in every novel they create. They tempered humor with seriousness, and at times, sadness. I felt a range of emotions while reading this novel and found myself rooting for all of the characters who weren't "nefarious villains." This is a longer novel (when it comes to YA lit, over 450 pages), but I flew through it. The pacing is spot on and nothing feels rushed. The plot has a few holes that may be corrected before the final copy goes to print, but it's also clear (as it was in the last novel) that this is supposed to be a lighthearted story and some of the outlandish plot points are supposed to be accepted for the sake of the story. 

Overall, I say give this book (and series) a try. If you're a fan of classical literature, or you just like people named Jane, then you'll love this book. Each novel can be read as a standalone book, too, though there was a cameo from Jane and G from the first book that I enjoyed. This novel is the perfect light summer read. I can't wait to see what these authors come up with next. 

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MY LADY JANE by Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, and Jodi Meadows

Rating: A-
Synopsis:
The comical, fantastical, romantical, (not) entirely true story of Lady Jane Grey. In My Lady Jane, coauthors Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, and Jodi Meadows have created a one-of-a-kind fantasy in the tradition of The Princess Bride, featuring a reluctant king, an even more reluctant queen, a noble steed, and only a passing resemblance to actual history—because sometimes history needs a little help.

At sixteen, Lady Jane Grey is about to be married off to a stranger and caught up in a conspiracy to rob her cousin, King Edward, of his throne. But those trifling problems aren’t for Jane to worry about. Jane gets to be Queen of England.

My thoughts on the book:
I will admit that I was a bit hesitant when it came to this book. I am a history dork (my minor was history), and I am absolutely obsessed with Medieval Europe especially the Tudor and post-Tudor era. Therefore, I wasn't really sure how I'd take a revisionist, comedic history written about Lady Jane Grey. However, Ashton, Hand, and Meadows are three of my favorite authors, and I knew that if anyone could pull this off, they could. As it turns out, I was absolutely enthralled with this novel. It is light, funny, and a ridiculously engaging read. I couldn't put it down. I read it all over the course of 3 days after work, and considering it's over 500 pages, that's a pretty big feat. This was simply a lovely story.

I'm always a bit nervous when I hear about historical fiction reworking actual historical figures, rather than setting a book in a certain time period and creating one's own characters. The authors rarely get the characters "right," in my opinion, and any history buff would say the same thing. We could all nitpick everything to death until the end of time. However, this book didn't really *try* to get the characters right. Since it was a comedy, and the narrators made it clear that it wasn't to be taken seriously, I was able to completely delve into their world, the characters, and the alternate version of the time period. Yes, the language was off, and yes, one of the characters wanted to be called G, which would just never happen in that day and age, but I loved all of the characters, nonetheless. Jane was a strong heroine, and I really loved their version of Elizabeth I. I feel like they actually had Bloody Mary pretty spot on, to be honest. Edward was more engaging than he would have been had they stuck to his actual personality. I wasn't a fan of what they did with Mary, Queen of Scots, but that's because I'm a huge fan of the Scottish Queen. 

The writing was cute and casual and incredibly engaging. They had little side notes and parentheticals throughout the novel to let the reader know that they were the ones telling the story. I enjoyed that, and their random (some real, some fake) historical facts, too.  They didn't try to pass this off as anything close to authentic for a single second, and I loved that. It took a lot of courage and wit to pull this off. The pacing was quick but not rushed. The ending was adorable. The romances were cute and appropriate for all ages of YA readers. Each author took one one character, and the book was told from 3 perspectives. I have an idea who wrote which character, but I don't want to ruin it for other readers, so I won't hazard my guesses here. In my opinion, this was a courageous, witty, and fun modern day fairy tale. We don't get many actual fairy tales nowadays, and I appreciate these ladies writing one for us.

I'd recommend this book to anyone. Whether you're a fan of romance, historical fiction, comedy, fantasy, or all of the above, you are sure to be charmed by this book. 

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Review: Be More Chill

Jeremy Heere is your average high school dork. Day after day, he stares at beautiful Christine, the girl he can never have, and dryly notes the small humiliations that come his way. Until the day he learns about the "squip." A pill-sized supercomputer that you swallow, the squip is guaranteed to bring you whatever you most desire in life. By instructing him on everything from what to wear, to how to talk and walk, the squip transforms Jeremy from Supergeek to superchic. -Goodreads ff
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Stats:
Publisher: Miramax
Release Date: September 1, 2005
Page Count: 304
Would Appeal To: Fans of Beauty Queens or anyone who likes making fun of pop culture

Favorite Quotes:
"Cool People are like termites; for every one you see, there are thousands back at the hive with the same basic nervous system and worldview."

"That's one thing I hate about, uh, the world. I hate touchy-feely friend relationships between guys and girls. I hate them when I'm in them, of course, but I'm not in them too often so mostly I just hate them from outside."

"NO, I DO NOT MEAN 'CHILL OUT.' WE ONLY USE SQUIP-APPROVED DATA FOR THE VERNACULAR, JEREMY. YOU HAVE TO TALK AS PER RAP-SLASH-HIP-HOP, THE DOMINANT MUSIC OF YOUTH CULTURE."

"'Hello, Rich,' I nod, squip-prompted. I almost wave but the squip tells me that waving is one of the worst things you can do in any social situation; it makes people question your non-retardedness."

"She wears a black Goth semidress that's less like human clothing and more like one of those choker vines that destroys its host tree and leaves its dead shell clinging to thin air."

We always want what we can't have. For Jeremy Heere (who even has an annoying last name, especially when it comes to roll call), he's one of the invisibles, the social outcasts who observes but never participates. His Dad tries to be cool but fails miserably, his best friend is on the outs too but does his own thing. But Jeremy wants to lessen the amount of computer porn time and get with Christine, the girl of his dreams. 
When he finds he can swallow a pill to find all of his problems, he will do anything to get the money. But the squip isn't yet approved for the public. Still, he's willing to risk anything to get the girl and find happiness.
 
Reasons You Must Check This Out:

• Comedic. I don't just mean in parts, but the whole thing is ridiculous and funny. Jeremy wants to enter the world of girls, but he's so awkward. He writes Humiliation Sheets when people embarrass him or make fun of him in some way, and when his classmates find out, they kind of freak. I would too. They're kind of like a tally of who has been mean, which could be used in several unhealthy and violent ways. Jeremy's not like that, though. He's just odd and often misunderstood.
• Creative. Everything about the story is creative. The way Jeremy gets enough money to buy a squip. The descriptions of his life. The consequences of the drug/sex/dance party. The idea of the squip itself. Is it really that far off that we could have technology in our brains telling us what to do? And the squip has a pretty decent sense of humor. I liked the parts where it was explaining to Jeremy how it worked, the "technical" details of it downloading memories from his brain.
• Cultural references. This has everything from Eminem (and his demise) to beanie babies to the lingo of the times that Jeremy has to use. He isn't comfortable with cussing like the squip tells him, so he thinks of cuss words with blanks. It was actually interesting to fill in the blanks. I want my mind to work a little while I'm reading.  
• Characters. Aunt Linda is the craziest woman ever, from using a pole to prod Jeremy to her picture taking obnoxiousness. Jeremy's dad walks around naked and tries to be cool but is mostly embarrassing, especially with his giant Bowflex in the living room. And Jeremy's best friend has an afro with lots of dandruff. No two characters are alike. 

Things That Bugged Me:

• The end was kind of abrupt, but it still had a great message. 

 Final verdict:
A quick, realistic narration flooded in humor, Be More Chill attempts to decode the mysteries of the female gender from the perspective of a high school boy who missed the Cool People memo.      

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Review: Beauty Queens

"The fifty contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner.
What's a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up?
Welcome to the heart of non-exfoliated darkness." 

-Goodreads

Stats:

Publisher: Scholastic Press

Release Date: May 24, 2011

Page Count: 396

Unique Elements: The Corporation interrupts the book to bring you delightful commercials

Favorite Quotes: 

"Lady 'Stache Off. Because there's nothing wrong with you...that can't be fixed."

"My platform's called Don't Even Think About It. I go into schools and I say, 'Whatever bad thing it is you're thinking of doing, don't even think about it. 'Cause I can see into your soul, and I will hide in your closet and come for you in the night, and the last sound you ever hear will be my sharp teeth popping through the flesh of my gums, ready to eat you.' Their eyes get all big. It's awesome. I love little kids, man. They're the cutest."

"Wanna rock you, girl, with a butterfly tunic./No I'm not gay, I'm just your emo eunuch...Let those other guys keep sexing./You and me, we be texting/ 'bout unicorns and rainbows and our perfect love./Girl, we fit together like a hand in a glove./Now I don't mean that nasty, tell your mom don't get mad./I even wrote 'You're awesome' on your maxi pads."

"Issuing this voluntary recall shows how much we care, and it is hard to dislike or take legal action against those who really care...If you purchased a Git R Done 447, please do not fire the weapon. Do not exhale or laugh within a five-foot radius of the 447...you will receive a discount on the purchase of The Corporation's Home Weapon Containment Robot."

"Together, the sisters had sailed out over the creek on a tire swing tied to a fat tree limb by a knotted fist of rope. One Thursday in March, the circus had come to Humble, Humble, Nebraska, like a rogue spring wind, the kind that kicks pollen into the air and sends the shoots up too early."

I finished this book a week ago. Normally I don't have motivation to write a review after that long, but this book was so funny and memorable! I can't remember laughing so many times with one novel. Libba Bray has such a sense of humor, and I will now proceed to get every other book by her. She is the master of the freaky dream sequence.

Stranded beauty queens. Hot pirates from a widely acclaimed soap opera. Secret agents. Boy bands. Ginormous people-swallowing snakes. Evil plotting dictator whose best friend has been stuffed by the taxidermist. Girls with attitude, and girls obsessed with continuing to practice for a pageant (who would have thought it'd be Miss Texas??), even when they should be building shelters and looking for food. Anything you've ever wanted to make fun of about the 21st century, this book has (and some things you've never thought of).

The dialogue makes this book a success.  Each character's personality is developed after just a few instances of speech.

Every reader will find a character to connect with: there's Adina, the chick with a brain; Mary Lou, the wild girl trying not to follow in her sister's unfortunate footsteps; Jennifer, the juvenile delinquent who was really second runner up; Sosie, who's deaf; Petra, who can't survive without her medicine; Nicole, whose mom lives vicariously through her; Shanti, the Indian girl known for being able to make popadam like her mom and grandma...and there's a whole cast of guys too! 

Oh, and Miss New Mexico has a meal tray lodged in her forehead the whole book-- that's pretty cool. 

Final Verdict: If you want a good laugh about the ridiculousness of pop culture, run, don't walk, to the nearest bookstore for a copy of Beauty Queens. 

 

 

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Review: Meant to Be

Stats:
Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers
Release Date: November 13, 2012
Page Count: 290
Would Appeal To: Fans of Sarah Dessen, Sarah Ockler, Jennifer E. Smith
 Favorite Quotes:
 "'In this room, you will find a veritable feast for the eyes, with colors exploding like fat, ripe berries of passion all over the canvas. Taste with your eyes the juicy flavors of impressionism, paint swirling into itself like a delicious gravy of art...' My head hurts too much for me to turn and find out who's laughing at the 'berries of passion'-- or to point out the tour guide's use of mixed metaphor."

"I'm curled up in the most comfortable bed ever (seriously, it feels like sleeping in a hug)..."

"The last time I drank a latte, I decided the best way to study for the SATs would be to memorize the entire dictionary. My mom found me the next morning surrounded by multicolored flash cards that looked like they had been written by a serial killer."

"Jason's expression is hard to decipher. He looks very calm. Unfortunately, it seems like the kind of calm that comes before a tornado whips through your town and deposits three cows and a Pizza Hut on top of your house." 

Why You Must Read This Book:

• Cuteness factor is through the roof. Seriously, I sighed at the end. I am not wanting for more because the ending was that perfect.
• Jason, Julia's buddy on their junior class trip to London, is positively annoying. But...he has a ton of redeemable qualities. Let's face it-- most girls go for the bad guy. And Jason's not bad; he's the class clown (with a multitude of female admirers). He has a "rusty mop" of red hair, says the most embarrassing things in public, and continuously calls Julia "Book Licker." He breaks the rules, makes adults cringe, and blows off school (but is secretly smart). Plus, he sees Julia at her lowest points, mostly when she's tripping and/or falling into things, which she does a lot. Despite this, he displays little hints of humanness (like a love of the Beatles) and genius ideas for fun that allow Julia to loosen up and crash through the concrete concepts she's had of how life and love should go. 
• Poor Julia--you've just got to root for her. Imagine if you lived your most embarrassing moment over three times a day for a week. That's pretty much Julia, klutz and social outcast. What's great is that she only slightly cares what the more popular girls think, and that's because one of them is the gossip queen of the school; however, she's not afraid to be on her own in another country. Julia's practically an organized adult living in a high school world, a history buff who highlights and tags the crap out of more than one edition of an English guidebook. This is why it's so fun for Jason to see how far he can push the boundaries. She over analyzes little actions, but for good reason. All the misunderstandings between her and Jason--and there are a ton-- are realistic and hilariously confusing. So many things go wrong, you just want her love life to go right! She carries on with virtually no friends and an antagonizing partner, just for the sake of experiencing London, the place where her parents fell in love.
• Julia's one step away from being 3-D. She believes each person only has one MTB (Meant to Be). She buries her nose in Pride and Prejudice and dreams of perfect Mark with the slightly crooked tooth sweeping her off her feet because they had a backyard wedding at six years old. These elements brought Julia to life for me. All of her rule following made more sense because of her fantasies about love.
• Clever plot. A loveless Julia suddenly has three boys to keep her on her toes in London. And there's a great twist that I never saw coming... 
• Lauren Morrill knows how to write a kissing scene. 'Nuff said.
• Descriptions of England are gorgeous. From the London Eye to Shakespeare's birthplace, this author flawlessly executes the "show, don't tell" rule when it comes to both scenery and characters.

What Bugged Me:

• Slow start. Honestly, after the first three chapters, I couldn't figure out what all the author hype on the back was about. I thought Julia was annoying (she put asides in parentheses like this that interrupted her sentences) and that the similes were too frequent and trying too hard. Pretty soon, though, the ( ) dwindled and the similes were more natural, just another part of her personality. As soon as Jason dragged Julia to a house party, plot events turned interesting.
• One character's motives predictable. It was a boy. Something he said tipped me off. But who's to say a little dramatic irony doesn't help the story? You're just left screaming at the pages, going, "Why didn't you read into that statement if you read into everything else?"
• A couple of repeated words/phrases. "Distressed" was repeated three times in the span of a few pages to describe various objects (before page 28). Also, I love the phrase "like sleeping in a hug," but that was repeated as well. Maybe it was meant to show her character? The thankyouverymuch that Julia often thought and once said did not get on my nerves because it became very much a trademark slogan. 

Final Verdict:
Lauren Morrill's debut is a spunky, comedy-of-errors romance that leaves you laughing and sighing in the same breath. Warning: impossible to put down.

 

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